ARTICLE REFLECTION 3 - CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?

In this article, the writer talks about the view of the society about the cross sex friendships and the possibility of this kind of friendships. I chose this topic because many people believe that men and women cannot be real friends and there are always the same dialogues like a: ‘’ Are you really just friends?’’ b: ‘’Yes we are really just friends!’’. This belief just makes me crazy. I do not mean that I am totally for or against dating with friends. Clearly there are a lot of people who are dating with their close friends of the opposite sex. We can encounter those situations in real life and also through the media such as Chandler and Monica in Friends.

 It is one of the inevitable results of being always too close, doing and sharing many things together. I would like to share this video with you, but forgive me I could not find the English version of this. It is about the impossibility of the pure friendship between male and female and the reality of the sexual attraction in the cross – sex relationship. This might be true in some situations but this is not a universal fact. The sexual attraction is a natural result of this but you can control it when you are really friends. 

I have a lot of male friends and to be honest, I prefer having male friends to female friends. There is a lot of reason for this. First of all, I and my male friend cannot fall in love with the same guy. Secondly, it is an obvious fact that females are male likely to lie than males. That means you can trust males rather than females. I have always been cheated by my female friends and obviously I cannot trust a woman easily anymore. Thirdly, men are not sensitive like women; that’s why, you can have fun with male friends than female friends. They don’t complain of not being called or something like that. They do not care about tiny details. Men are really bad at intriguing or pulling a trick on someone. They also don’t care about these things and do not deign to do something like those. Finally, women are more tend to feel jealous of her friends than men. Of course there are always exceptions but in general you can count on a man rather than a woman.

All in all, the cross – sex friendships are really possible and they can be much better than the same sex friendships.

ARTICLE REFLECTION 2 - Friends, Good Friends and Such Friends

  In the article "Friends, Good Friends and Such Friends", the writer talks about the types of friends. She divides friends into eight categories and shows the specific features of each category.

 I chose this topic because I have been thinking about the value and place of my friends in my life recently. I have a lot of friends and I always have to make a choice among them because I’m really busy and cannot spare time for each of them. I should make a priority list or something like that.  I should decide who is more important or who is privileged. That’s why I hope this will help me.

I guess I could not get what I wanted from the article because there are some weird things. However, I don’t agree with the writer on some points. 

 

Firstly, I realized that I actually know how to categorize my friendships when reading this article while criticizing. My priorities about a friendship are totally different than hers. I think there are more important things to categorize your friendships. How do you feel when you are with your friend? Do you really love or care about him/her? Can you count on him/her? Can you comfort your sorrows or celebrate your joys when you are together? I believe the answers of these questions can divide your friendships into categories.

Secondly, she divided friendships into 8 groups; however, it was unnecessary to have 8 groups. There are not obvious differences among them. For instance, the first and the second, the fourth and the sixth ones are almost the same. She thinks inside a box about the friendships. 

Finally, I think the writer should have talked regardless of gender issues. I guess the writer is feminist because this article is so women-oriented. She does not even care about the friendship of males. She should have mentioned male friendships. Of course there are some differences between the genders but friendship is a universal thing among people. Even I, being a woman, am disturbed by this manner.  As a result, I think she should have spared some space for men friendships or just talk about the general friendship without pointing out any gender - related tips.

All in all, I do not agree with the writer on the meaning of friendships. This article is far more behind the meaning of a real friendship.

         

ARTICLE REFLECTION 1 - SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME

In this article, the writer talks about the reasons behind the fact that many young adults leave home and the amount of them in USA. The reason why I chose this topic is the fact that I really do not understand why people want to leave their family when they become 18. Many people like to live on their own when they think that they are mature enough. I think it is meaningless and unnecessary to leave the family without a valid reason other than being older than 18. Living with your family does not show that you are dependent on your family totally. You can both live with your family and also stand on your feet. It is not a sign of weakness or dependence. On the contrary, it shows you are merciful and loyal to your parents. Your family may need you when you become an adult, because they become old and may need your help and support. All in all, they are your parents and they spend their 20 years to grow you up. When you are an adult, I think you should also look after them because they will need someone to help and take care of them. Otherwise, it would be just selfishness. Moreover, family is not just a financial thing; it also helps you psychologically because you feel safe and trust them with your whole heart. When even your best / boy / girl friends don’t care about you, your parents will always be there for you. For instance, I live with my parents and I do not regret it. I earn my own money but I don’t need to leave my family just because I can stand on my own feet. I think leaving them is just a pointless thing. I just cannot imagine myself without them yet. On the other hand, the family is the fundamental of a society which should be well-constructed. I think the reason why the number of young adults living with their parents in USA is higher than in Turkey is the fact that the strong family bonds in Turkey are more important than in USA. The family bond is a link to our beginning and a guide to our future. I think a society without strong family bonds would be just a wreck. 

JOURNAL 4 - SIX FEET UNDER

Hello everyone, I will write my ideas about ‘’Six Feet Under’’ which is one of my favorite TV series. To be honest, this series has an important impact on my life. You should definitely watch this TV series if you worry about death of even yours or the ones that you love. The whole story is about a family who live in a funeral home ‘’Fisher & Sons Funeral Home’’. It starts with the death of the father Nathaniel Fisher (Richard Jenkins) and goes on with the lives of his wife Ruth (Frances Conroy) and their children David (Michael C. Hall), Nate (Peter Krause) and Claire (Lauren Ambrose) in the funeral home. Even though they come across death every day, their job is always death, they cannot deal with the grief and there is an emotional chaos. 

At the start of each episode, a person dies and his/her life is shown. They may be young, old and even a baby. They may be sick or totally healthy such as a sportsman. Actually the main aim is the death is an inevitable reality for everyone. Death can catch you when walking, driving, sleeping, eating, and even laughing. Death is the most real and natural part of life.

The interesting thing in this series is the fact that the main characters are able to talk to the dead especially the father Nathaniel. These talks are mostly depressing. Of course, there are some ups and downs but in general their lives are full of sorrows, pain and scars that many people cannot stand. 

Ruth begins an affair shortly before her husband's death and goes on with other affairs even though she loves her husband and cannot forget him.

The younger son David gives up law school to take over the family business in order to please his father. He is gay and after a while, starts to live with a man.  

The older son Nate, who decides to move home, help with the family-business, is an easygoing person. Everyone loves and respects him.

 He begins a romance with a massage therapist Brenda (Rachel Griffiths). However, she is a sex-addict and this fact causes some troubles between them.

The sister Claire is a sensitive teenage high school girl uses drugs and sleeps with some of the worst boys of the school and uses drugs.  She is intelligent and very good at art.

JOURNAL 3 - VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

We encounter violence based news such as killed, raped or trounced women every single day. Something must be done in order to stop it but I just can write about my thoughts and feelings about this pitilessness for the moment.

Violence against women is a gender apartheid based abuse of human rights. According to the report of Human Rights Association, four thousand women were killed and three thousand women were abused sexually in seven years. Any act of gender-based violence that results in mental, physical, sexual, and other health problems. People should stop this cruel reality of the world. There are three main possible solutions for the dramatic rising in acts of gender-based violence.

First of all, not only women but also men should be informed of the gender-based violence and its miserable results. It is obvious that a conscious man knows that he should not mistreat women and a conscious woman knows that she has rights to defend herself to a man.

Secondly, more women’s shelter should be opened and they should be secure and faithful. Women can get legal, psychological and healthcare services there. They should understand that they can live without their cruel husbands or fathers. They should know that they can count on these shelters.  

Finally, the social perspective to the women should be changed and the belief that women are weak and unimportant in our society should be eliminated. Women should be supported to be in the society actively such as working and even taking more places in politics and decision makers. Women should be supported and they should get paid jobs in order to get their economic freedom and stop depending on men. There are still weird beliefs such as a woman should not be an engineer or any man’s job(!). In one of my courses during a debate on this, I saw that those prejudices are still valid even for the educated people. It is terrible that even at METU, there are some guys thinking that women cannot be engineers.

In conclusion, when these possible solutions are practiced, violence against women can be minimized or even stopped.